Do you ever feel like you’re not good enough as a mom? Or maybe you don’t feel fulfilled in your motherhood? Today on the blog, Michelle Hiatt is joining us for a conversation to help you overcome mom guilt with biblical truth.

Who is Michelle Hiatt?

A wife, homeschool mom with five kids and an entrepreneur based in Orlando, Florida. Through conversations on the Surrender Driven Success Podcast, she brings a biblical perspective to everyday life while helping other women find more purpose and balance as they grow in business and nurture their families with God at the center.

Which came first, Motherhood or Business?

Brooke: Were you a mom first? Or were you in business first?

Michelle: Growing up, my biggest dream and desire was to be a wife and a mom. In fact, in eighth grade at Career Day, I dressed up as a pregnant woman. My best friend and I had balls under our bellies and Starbucks cups in our hands.

When I got married, I wrestled with the idea of answering “just a mom” when someone asked me what I did for a living. That thought haunted me because I’m motivated, ambitious and driven. I’m wired to work and to be “Martha minded woman”. But the Lord’s been teaching me to be more like Mary, which we’ll talk more about.

I thought that motherhood would always be my focus. That was what I always wanted. But after we had three kids, we had a financial need. I knew I could work from home. I believe that you can be an excellent wife, an intentional mother and be successful in business for the glory of God. So, my journey started after having three kids.

But the most important thing is that my marriage was strong, my faith was strong, and my home was in a settled place. I started the journey of entrepreneurship with that foundation. So being a wife and a mom came first and my business came later. It’s been fun and has evolved over the years.

Brooke: I love hearing personal stories. From a very young age, I always knew that I would be a mom. For you guys, you get married and then had children. I was 19 and thought I had my whole life ahead of me. I ended up getting pregnant first, having a baby, learning how to parent and then I got married. So I don’t think it really matters how you get to motherhood, today’s conversation is going to be encouraging for all of us.

Does Everyone Wrestle with Mom Guilt?

Brooke: Do you feel that everyone wrestles with mom guilt? What has your personal experience been with that feeling?

Michelle: Everybody’s journey is different. This is something that everybody struggles with. There’s been seasons of my life where I’ve balanced three businesses from home. Then there’s times when, out of obedience, I’ve laid everything aside to focus on my family. It doesn’t matter where you’re at in the process.

Every mom listening right now is busy. “Busy” just looks different for everyone. Every mom listening right now is working hard. That work looks different. But when you’re busy and you have a lot of balls to juggle, it can lead to doubt, fear, insecurity, guilt, and shame. You experience mom guilt, and that feeling of not good enough.

A lot of us feel called to the home, but we also feel called for more when it comes to working and business. Maybe you wrestle with the fear of not wanting to hurt your family because you’re pursuing a goal. Or because you’re growing in business. You don’t want to sacrifice your family for the sake of any entrepreneurship endeavor because it’s not worth it.

So how do you do both? How do you balance both motherhood and business with peace, and without the mom guilt. There are many different strategies for overcoming mom guilt. I look forward to pushing you a little deeper and challenging your heart to more freedom from a real biblical perspective. I also want to share some practical tools too because God’s grown me a lot in this department.

God’s Ultimate Calling On Your Life

Brooke: My best friend sent me a little snippet of her devotional for the day. It talked about how God’s ultimate purpose for you is to bring people to Jesus and to bring people into the kingdom. A lot of times He does that through our businesses. There is freedom in knowing that if God calls you to a business, He wants you to flourish.

Michelle: I felt so guilty because I didn’t know any women in my world that were pursuing a business. So, I felt like I had to keep it a secret because I felt wrong for being me. When I realized that God created me this way, I knew I could honor Him in all of it. I didn’t have to choose between being a mom or a business owner. It was freeing when I realized that I’m not wrong for having these desires.

This is common in any business minded mama with a heart for home and a love for Jesus. This is something that she has to navigate. I’ve been learning how to get to the root of it and know exactly how to crush mom guilt God’s way.

The Root of Overcoming Mom Guilt

Brooke: What are some different strategies for overcoming mom guilt? What is the root of overcoming the emotions of not being good enough?

Michelle: The world and self-development influences are going to tell you to look at yourself for strength. But what I found is that true breakthrough and freedom, comes from finding your strength in Christ. Positive affirmations like, “I am enough” are only going to get you so far. You can’t truly believe them and love yourself until you experience the love of God.

You don’t have to carry the burden of being “enough”. God is enough for you, you don’t have to work and strive to be enough, you just have to know who you are in Him. God within you is enough. The truth of who you are in Christ is really going to set you free.

One of my favorite verses is 2 Corinthians 12:9, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weakness so that Christ’s power may rest on me.” So, His grace is really what we need.

Pursue God’s Presence

Don’t look at your feelings of mom guilt as failure. Translate them properly and realize that you just need more of God. Let those feelings be what triggers you to run after the Lord and pursue God’s presence. In His presence, the Bible says is fullness of joy. That’s where you’re going to find peace. You can’t feel mom guilt, shame or anxiety and have the peace of God at the same time.

The cure and the root of crushing mom guilt and experiencing peace, is found in the presence of the Lord. He is the thing that will truly satisfy your soul. With Him, you will overcome all of the mental and emotional struggles that you wrestle with.

Brooke: What I find so sweet about the Bible, and about how God speaks to us is that He kindly points out our weaknesses throughout the entire Bible. But He gives us the solution for us not being enough. It’s to lean into His strength and grace. It shows God’s kind and loving character.

He created us and He values us. But He never called us to be perfect. That’s Jesus. I am anti self-love culture. Things like “you are enough” and “female is the future”. I want to lean into the truth that it’s okay for us not to be enough. The sooner we realize and lean into that, the sooner we’re going to get past the root of why we feel the way that we do.

Practical Ways to Overcome Mom Guilt

Brooke: What are some practical ways to overcome this mom guilt or the shame that we might feel on a daily basis?

Connect Your Work with Your Influence at Home

Michelle: I believe that simple things are spiritual, and practical things are biblical. Having vision is so important. As moms that are involved in other work outside of motherhood and business, we feel like we have to put on a hat, take it off, put on another hat. There’s this tension between the two.

I want to encourage you women to ask the Lord for better vision on how you can connect the work of your hands with your influence at home. For example, when you’re working in your work block, think about how you can incorporate your kids. They can be a part of that vision. Show them the work that you do. Thank them for being obedient so that you could create or accomplish that task or project. Let them know that you work as a team. Then, they will feel like they were a part of any success or growth that you have.

Quality (Not Quantity) Time with Your Kids

Your kids want you more than anything else. I’ll ask my kids, “What can I do to be a better mom to you?” All five of my kids from ages 4 to 14 and who are vastly different, all have the same answer. Every single one of them says that the number one thing that they really want from me as their mom is just me. They want more quality time with me.

There’s pressure of feeling like you need to do more to be a better mom or you’re not doing enough. But your kids just want you and your presence more than anything. It doesn’t have to be a lot of quantity of time. But the quality of time is really important.

Determine Your Priorities

In order to ditch the mom guilt, you have to determine your priorities and name what is sacred in your life. Day to day, ask yourself, “What are the most important things I need to do today? The non-negotiables? What are the most meaningful things I want to do today?” Then, at the end of the day, if you accomplish those and nothing else, it’s a good day.

In your business, name the 1 to 3 things that are non-negotiable. If you did nothing else, but these things, you would feel like you had a good day. Ask yourself the same thing about motherhood. What are the 1 to 3 things that at the end of the day would feel meaningful and would give you a sense of peace.

How to Prioritize Your Children

I choose things that bring unity to the kids. I read aloud to my kids a lot. We also have movie nights. We’re all together in one place, at one space in time, and I’m fully present. That’s a priority for me because I want to make sure I have connection with my kids, and I want to bring the family together.

I also prioritize sharing a meal as a family. There is nothing like sitting down with a meal and looking into each one of your family members’ eyes and putting the technology away. No extracurricular activities or other commitments are worth that sacrifice because it is so precious to me.

Another thing is tucking your kids in bed. As moms, this is the time of the day that we secretly dread. But these moments are a privilege. We only have our children in our home for a little while. This is the time when sweet conversations happen, prayers are prayed, and character is formed. They’re memories made that your kids will carry with them for the rest of their lives.

Brooke: What I love most from this conversation so far today is that it’s up to each one of us to decide what that does look like for us. Then casting vision for that and getting practical. I love the mindset of “As long as I do X, Y and Z today, it’s a win no matter what. It doesn’t matter if I lost my temper, it doesn’t matter if we were all late out the door this morning or if school drop off was, a nightmare, as long as I took care of the non-negotiables it doesn’t matter.”

This One Thing Will Eliminate Mom Guilt

Brooke: What is your final piece of advice to the woman that is struggling with mom guilt?

Michelle: Resting in the love of God will allow the negative emotions of mom guilt to fall away. Run to His presence, because God desires unity and a relationship with you. You don’t have to do anything to earn His affection. God’s presence is going to precede your breakthrough when it comes to mom guilt or any other negative emotion that might be weighing you down. freedom.

Finding Time to Sit with God

Brooke: One bonus question for you. How do you find time to sit with the Lord and dive into His Word?

Michelle: I’ve created holy habits. These habits are the most important thing of my day. If you do nothing else, meet with the Lord and sit in His presence and you’ve done everything you need to do for the day. The morning is the best time for me to make time with God. When I wake up in the morning, the first thing off my lips is, “Good morning, Holy Spirit.” I posture my heart, get on my knees, I have worship music popped into my ears, and I spend time with Him.

It doesn’t have to look a certain way. It’s all about your attention. It’s about fixing your eyes on the Lord. When you do that, you have peace. It doesn’t matter what’s going on in your circumstances, our heart can abide in His love. It’s going to look different for everybody, our quiet time with the Lord at different times of our life. But the most important thing is that your heart and your attention is on Him.

Isaiah 26:3-4 says, “You will keep in perfect peace, all who trust in you, all whose thoughts are fixed on you. Trust in the Lord always for the Lord God is an eternal rock.”

Connect with Michelle

Brooke: Thank you so much for all of this encouragement, the practical tips, and your biblical perspective into the root of mom guilt. How can everyone connect with you and get a hold of your free resource?

Michelle:
I’d love to connect with you guys. Come over and hang out with me on the Surrender Driven Success Podcast. If you want a free gift, I have 10 Tips to Finding Fulfillment While Balancing Motherhood and Business.

It’s almost an extension of this conversation with some real practical tips that are going to give you encouragement, biblical perspective and practical strategies for pursuing your greatest potential within the walls of your home. You’re going to love this checklist.

You can find that resource at www.michellehiatt.com/connect

I’m praying blessings on your business!

Connect with Michelle and Listen to the Surrender Driven Success Podcast.

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