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Do you struggle with perfectionism & paralysis? Ever wondered how to deal with perfectionism & paralysis? Today’s read is for you.
In today’s LIVE coaching call session on the Book More Clients Photography Podcast with Mikayla Ply, we’re discussing how to deal with perfectionism & paralysis.
Mikayla is the owner of Faithful Steps Photography, where she currently focuses on family photography.
Mikayla: How do you work with a perfectionist mindset? It’s gotten to the point where I focus on something for so long that it literally eats up my time that I have set aside to work on things, it’s starting to cause me to freeze.
For an example, I’m working on my guide right now for prepping my clients. I will literally focus on trying to get one stupid little line to get in that right spot, and if it takes me 30 minutes to get it there, it takes me 30 minutes.
So, how do you overcome that? I’ve tried timers, I’ve tried lists, and I’ve done a mixture of the two.
Brooke: I love this question. This is something personally that I struggle with too. And I will tell you, you will never fully like get over it, but you will learn how to coexist with that perfectionism.
Honestly, I think as artists, and as photographers, that’s something that we across the board struggle with. So, I want to flip the question first before I give you the tangibles.
Mikayla: That I will vocalize it’s not perfect, that’s something I’ve also noticed I’ve done with incoming inquiries; I’ll say, “sorry, this doesn’t look the best”. Then I go back to it, and it doesn’t look that bad. So, I don’t know why I have to vocalize that, it’s just my brain telling me it’s not perfect yet.
Brooke: Perfectionism is usually something that comes from an insecurity, that’s where it comes from. For you, it’s more fear of judgment. That’s where the perfectionist stems from, “if this isn’t perfect, they’re going to judge me for it”. Then you start going down this dark spiral, even when you’re not realizing it.
Here’s the deal, done is better than perfect. Listen, I’m the one who says, “that’s cliche, that’s not gonna help me”. However, when you realize you’re always evolving, we never actually arrive, your perspective on this cliche changes.
Brooke: I’ve been doing this for eight years, and I just redid another guide of mine in January for the fifth or sixth time, I’m always evolving.
So, if you will always remember, “this is as good as it’s gonna get right now”, and give yourself the permission of, “if a mistake is found, or if I don’t like this, or it doesn’t feel good to me in two months”; I’m going to give myself room to come back and make it better.
You do have to have hard boundaries, too. Honestly, what would be doable for you is to have someone else do it for you and call it good. Those of us that are perfectionist, we’re not always supposed to be the ones in it, doing it, fixing it or working on the details because we’ll never stop.
I am guilty of that.
But when I put money behind something, maybe I hire a VA that charges $30 an hour, and it takes her two hours to perfect my entire guide. It’s two hours I saved myself, which actually I probably saved myself eight hours because perfectionism.
When you put money behind something and you pay for it, it’s a hard boundary.
Another thing is, I would keep telling yourself, “done is better than perfect”, “my guide looks great”.
And because you’re one of my students, you do get feedback from me. So, hearing validation from others; posting your guide and one of the Facebook groups to get feedback is something else that might help you to say, “there’s nothing major here, everybody says they love it”.
Mikayla: Definitely helpful bringing in other people. In the past this has helped take that weight off my shoulders a little bit of being so hardcore focus on something. So, I’ll probably be doing that a little bit more than not.
Brooke: I love that.
Mikayla, is there any other area that your life, either for perfectionism or another question that you want to dig a little deeper into while you’re here?
Mikayla: I don’t think so, unless it stems off of this a bit; you’ve talked about the imposter syndrome thing, and everybody gets it, but a refresher on how to get out of that hole when you’re in it?
Brooke: Every level of your business and your life, you will experience imposter syndrome, you’ll feel like a fraud and get stuck comparing your business to someone else’s business. The only tried and true tangible action that will help you is to truly stop scrolling social media. When you don’t give yourself the freedom to look around at what everyone else is doing, you forget about what they’re doing. You get so focused on what you’re doing and you feel good about what you’re creating and who you’re working with.
This is why I’m always preaching to you guys to mute people; turn their posts and stories off until you get back to a solid place. You have to protect your mindset.
Here’s the thing, I don’t want everyone thinking that just because you have imposter syndrome, that it’s a negative thing because sometimes that could be the thing that drives you to making a change that’s better for you and your business. So, when it creeps in, don’t feel that guilt and shame. Instead, say, “why am I feeling the way that I am”?
It always goes back to it insecurity. What are you afraid of, and how can you combat that?
Brooke: I would love for you to tell everyone, what is one thing that you have loved about working with me or being one of my students? One takeaway, one thing that really stands out to you about being a student of mine?
Mikayla: Recently, it’s been incorporating “how can we pray for you this week”, and everyone comes in with, “hey, we’ll be praying for you for this, or I don’t even know you, but I got you covered”. It’s being in that community; knowing you have someone behind you to uplift you when you’re in that hole.
Want to dive more in depth of how to deal with perfectionism & paralysis? Tune into the Book More Clients Photography Podcast today!
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