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Does the Proverbs 31 woman seem like an impossible standard to live up to? Have you ever wondered how you can emulate her character in your own life?
In this episode of the Five Star Business Podcast, I’m chatting with Camie Wilke as she walks us through biblical principles from the Proverbs 31 woman that we can apply to our marriage, motherhood, and business. You’re going to get practical strategies you can apply to your life TODAY!
Camie: I am a Christian business coach. I teach Christian women how to build up successful online coaching businesses so that they can quit their nine to five job and come home, make money online to stay home with their babies. I’m the host of the Bibles, Babies and Business Podcast.
Brooke: We’ve had such a fun time connecting over podcasting, business coaching and all the things. I love that we have so much in common, but also have our unique gifts to bring to the table. I’m hoping through every guest that comes on the show in the future, listeners can see that there’s room for us all. Because truly in the kingdom, there’s no competition.
Brooke: I’m really excited to dive into what you’ve learned about the Proverbs 31 woman because I know it can be overwhelming to read about her and think “I’m a hot mess. I’m nowhere close to that, Lord, help me.” How did you come to these three revelations about the Proverbs 31 woman that you’re going to share with us today?
Camie: Proverbs 31 is a near and dear passage to not only my heart, but to women around the world. The first thing that I think is really important to preface is that the book of Proverbs is not promises and it’s not perfection to strive for, but rather principles that we can apply to our daily life. We have to read the Proverbs 31 passages with the right frame of mind so that we don’t all of a sudden start comparing ourselves to the Proverbs 31 woman or thinking that we are failing because we’re not living up to this perfect image that she portrays.
The Proverbs 31 passage has become more important to me as I grow deeper in my faith, my marriage and in my business. What I’ve come to know in the last several times of reading this passage is that this gives us a principal image of how to balance our lives when it comes to being business owners and mothers. There’s a lot of principles to glean from and I’m excited to discuss those with a few practical things that we can do in our marriage, motherhood and business that are inspired from principles from the Proverbs 31 woman.
Brooke: I love that so much. My perfectionistic tendencies tell me, “Oh my gosh, you’re doing it wrong. You lost your crap on your kids again.” We just have to remember, no one in the Bible was perfect, except Jesus. I know that sounds cliche, but we should look at the truth of that, too. We shouldn’t use the Proverbs 31 woman as an idol. We’re not trying to be her.
Instead, we’re trying to instill these principles that you’re going to go over. I encourage you to read Proverbs 31 for yourself. Don’t just take what Camie and I have to say, go and read it. Camie, what’s the first principle you have to share for us?
Camie: I like talking about marriage first, because it’s the first principle that’s addressed. Proverbs 31 talks about her marriage and her relationship with her husband. But also, this is a really good principle for us to have in our lives that, our husband is the single number one most important person to us on the planet, second only to our relationship with the Lord.
For me, it can be so easy to let those priorities slip. Because my husband loves me unconditionally and he’s always going to be there so I can just have another conversation with him later. I can start to take it for granted that he’s my person. He’s the only other person that I’m one with. It’s easy to start letting other things become priorities over him. So, I love that marriage is the first thing that is addressed in the Proverbs 31 woman.
Let’s dive into a couple practical things that we can do to really prioritize our marriage. The scripture that she is really talking about here says “her husband can trust her, and she will greatly enrich his life, she brings him good, not harm all the days of her life.” The two big things we can take away is that her husband can trust her, and that she brings him good.
As a business owner, I struggle with prioritizing Lucas over my business. Whatever I’m working on at the time, just seems so important that it has to get done right now. The reality is that it doesn’t need to be done right now. I can press pause and chat with my husband.
Here a few practical ways that we can prioritize our husband, even as busy moms and business owners, to bring him good. For example, when he calls you and you’re in the middle of a work session, I challenge you to pause your work and answer the phone. Don’t multitask and talk to him while you’re working. Just pause and listen to him and talk to him.
I oftentimes like to think back to when we all started dating our husbands and we had these giddy moments. It was the honeymoon phase. In the first couple of weeks of dating we would get butterflies when he called, and we would stop everything to talk to him. We can remember those conversations as being so sweet. They were so sweet because we put intentionality and focus on him. We can continually have those sparks. If we pause, don’t get caught up in the busyness of whatever it is we’re doing and really put our focus on him.
Genesis 2:18 references that the Lord created woman to be man’s helper. That’s not the only reason why women were created but we’re called to help our husbands. Another practical thing that you could do to bring your husband good is to brainstorm a few ways that you can help him throughout the day or throughout the week. It could be something as simple as packing him a lunch before he goes to work. You could get up with him and make him breakfast while he’s in the shower getting ready. Be present with him when he’s talking with you about something and don’t multitask during your time with him.
Lastly, be intentional about praying for him. Those are a few practical ways that we can really prioritize our marriage even as busy moms and business owners.
Brooke: These are so good. So simple, but so good. It’s the little things. I’ll be the first to tell you, I love that we’re doing this episode because we’ve already talked about balance and priorities. Now you’re going one step further, and giving us these principles and practical things to implement.
I haven’t always had a five-star marriage. It hasn’t always been that way. My priorities were out of order, putting him last, putting everybody else on the backburner and putting my business first. I was very business minded first, for a very long time. I got burnout. We found ourselves in the worst-case scenario possible. Then we had to learn to rebuild that. It can be done; we’re proof of that.
Start with the simple, little things and start making those habits. Be intentional with the things that you’re doing so that you can see the fruits of this marriage that Camie is talking about as well.
I love these practical tips. I will even tell you that I was tempted to roll my eyes at a couple of those things because that’s just not in my nature. That is proof that I need to go one step further and do it. We’re definitely going to implement those. I took what you said, and I applied it to me, which is what I hope the readers are doing as well.
One thing that we do when my husband comes home from work every day is make an attempt to have an actual conversation. When it’s really the first time we’re talking for the whole day. We used to just pass one another by and say nothing. I’m usually working when he comes home, and he always walks into the office. So now you’ve really inspired me to shut the laptop and go have the conversation with him. I can always come back to it later.
Camie: I’m glad these tips have been inspiring. These are convicting for me when I’m reading them, because even though they’re principles that I’m actively practicing, I could always do more. There was a time not so long ago when these principles were the farthest thing from my mind. Lucas would call and I would decline the call. He’d call and I’d be in the middle of writing an Instagram caption. So, these are all things that I’ve consistently dropped the ball on. We can practice these things and realize that we’re not going to be perfect at it.
It’s so interesting how marriage here on Earth is supposed to reflect the Lord’s relationship with the church. God has so much grace for the church. So my husband has so much grace for me. Even if I’m not perfect at it or if I mess up this here or there, he’s so graceful, patient, and he appreciates the effort, even if the ACT isn’t perfect.
Camie: I’m approaching this as somebody who is about to be a mom, who is not a mom. So please take all of this with the mindset that I’m telling you this as somebody who desires to be a mom and is about to be a mom. But also, you know, talk to me in six months like this might be a little different.
The first verse about the Proverbs 31 woman and motherhood says, “she gets up before dawn to prepare breakfast for her household.” This may or may not be realistic for every single mom just based upon her own lifestyle. But the principle that we can glean here is that the Proverbs 31 woman is prioritizing her family before her work.
The first thing that she’s doing in the morning is making sure that her family is served before her business is served. Take that principle and apply that to your life. Make sure that your family is taken care of because they are the ministry that you are called to before the ministry of your business at the end of your life.
If you have amazing success with your business and you are impacting the kingdom of heaven with your business, but you completely neglected your family, the Lord is going to be like, “I gave you this first ministry of your family. Yes, also I give you your business.”
But when the Lord calls you to something, you’re not going to have to sacrifice another role that He’s called you to in order to be obedient to Him. Really focus and make sure that your family is taken care of and that you are serving them first.
This, the next passage that we can glean from says, “when she speaks her words are wise and she gives instructions with kindness.” Now, I don’t have kids, but I do have dogs and a husband. I can say that this can be challenging, especially when things go wrong. I’ll let my tone get snappy or say things I might regret. But we can aim to speak to our children in a way that we would want them to speak to us.
For example, we wouldn’t want our children to yell at us or yell instructions at us. So, we need to be intentional about trying not to yell instruction. Even if it’s the third time we’ve told them to put their shoes on. Ask the Lord for wisdom with our words.
James 1:5 says that the Lord will not withhold wisdom from people who ask for it. With that wisdom, I believe that the patience and the kindness will follow when we lead our words with wisdom. Those are some practical things that we can approach our motherhood with to prioritize our family before business.
Brooke: I’m here for both of these things. We’re feeling convicted about it all. Personally, I have practiced putting my family and kids first before I start my workday. It has completely transformed everything. Especially if you have small little ones because they need way more of you. You have to be okay with that.
You’re going to be on the path to frustration, if you hop out of bed, throw your hair up in a messy bun, make your coffee and head straight to your desk. When your kids wake up, the first thing they’ll want is you. They need you to make them breakfast. They need you to play with them, to dress them, and all these things.
Play with your kids in the morning before you start on your work. Have a conversation with your husband, if you get up early before he leaves. If you don’t, then that’s fine. That’s not on your checklist for that morning. Starting your workday will be so much easier if you’ll just spend time with your kids first. Give them 30 minutes to an hour of your full attention. Then, they’ve already had the dose of you that they need in the morning. Then, they’re less likely to interrupt you.
This looks different for everyone. I have an office and my kids are also about to be six and nine. I can leave them and shut the door and know that my house isn’t going to burn down. You may have small children. You might need to play with them first. Then, sit on the couch with your laptop in the same room. You don’t have to feel as guilty because you already gave them the attention that they really needed. That will help with mom guilt.
So, I love the concept of putting them first, serving them first. I also love school routine. It just keeps me sane. I know that I can come home and worry about myself and my business after everybody is set off for the day. Try it and see for yourself!
If your work is flip flopped and you’re someone who works in the evenings after maybe husband comes home and he helps you with the kids. That’s cool, too. Switch your priority. Instead of running to your laptop and shutting the door the second he walks in, tend to your family first. Have dinner, then go work. I promise it will absolutely change your business!
Camie: Absolutely. This will look different for different seasons of your life. Maybe you naturally wake up several hours earlier than your kids and this is when you do the bulk of your work. That’s okay! Prioritizing your family first doesn’t necessarily mean doing so in chronological order from a time perspective. If you work in the earlier hours of the day, when your kids wake up you can hit pause on work and pour into them. Fill their cup up with love. When the time is right and you find a moment for you to go grab another work block, then you can transition in.
Remember that these are principles. They’re not perfect little boxes that you have to fit your life into. You can really make these work for you and your family.
Brooke: It goes back to prioritizing. We talked about balance and seeking God first. Even if that’s a quick prayer in the morning, and that’s all you have time for. Seek God first in all that you’re doing. In your marriage, then your motherhood, then your business.
There are seasons when I get it backwards. Then, I have to unlearn the bad habits and start all over. So just know that I’m not speaking from perfection. I am far from it. But I do practice the guidelines and the principles that we’re talking about today that I try to follow.
Camie: The last category here is business. This is the nitty gritty, tactical things. The Proverbs 31 woman was a woman of God, a wife, a mother, and a business woman. I want to pause right there and encourage somebody who is wondering, “How could I be called to business when I’m also called to mother these kids? And I’m called to love my husband. I feel like I have so much going on that it feels like I know the Lord’s calling me to do this, but I don’t know how recognize that.”
You very well may be called to all of it and you probably are if you’re listening to this podcast. Don’t doubt that just because things may not be as easy or as smooth as your expectations. Recognize that you can do all of it, you just can’t do all of it at once. When you partner with the Holy Spirit, it is truly possible for you to steward all the different roles of your life, including your business and steward them well. It may not look the way that you thought. But if the Lord is leading you and you’re seeking God first, it is possible.
The Proverbs 31 woman was an entrepreneur. She spun wool and flax. It says that she inspected a field, she bought the field and then with her earnings, she planted the vineyard. She made garments and sashes and sold them. The scripture also says that she was making sure her dealings were profitable.
First of all, that is permission for Christians to make a profit. Sometimes, we can get into a poverty mentality as a Christian and believe that it’s only holy if we’re not making any money. No! You can go read that verse. The Proverbs 31 woman makes sure her dealings are profitable. But recognize again that you are called and anointed to this business in addition to your motherhood and your marriage.
The first practical principle addresses the verse that says, “she gets up before the dawn to prepare breakfast for her household and plans the day’s work for her serving girls.” The Proverbs 31 woman started her day with a game plan.
She did not run into her day full force randomly accomplishing tasks. She had a game plan. The Proverbs 31 woman knew that she had a lot on her plate. In order to steward all of her roles, she had to be organized. Being organized looks different for different people. Find out what structure, game plan and routines work really well for you. Adjust as needed and stick to that routine while remaining flexible when real life happens.
Walk into your day with a game plan. Set up work blocks of time where you know that you’re going to have an opportunity to get work done without interruption. For example, when your kids are napping, they’re off at school or during their snack time. Set up work blocks that are organized. Blocks where you can approach your work from as peaceful of a mindset as possible. This is way more productive than trying to sporadically accomplish work in between all of the mom moments of your day.
Brooke: I can’t imagine running my day without a plan. I’m type A and follow a calendar. We’re using Asana to manage all the tasks and projects for my business. That’s one of the gifts I feel like God has given me. I can see things in the order they should be done in a very structured approach. It’s one of the skills that I bring to the table when it comes to business coaching. I help you answer questions like, “What am I supposed to be doing? What’s my goal? How do I get there?”
You need a roadmap and a plan. You have to be really careful that you don’t just show up and say, “Oh, this sounds fun. I’m just going to create content today.” Then, 30 minutes in, think “I need to update my website.”
It’s really important to go in with a plan or a calendar. When I’m looking at my calendar and building it out, it aligns with my priorities. The first thing that goes on there is the morning time, spending time with God. The next thing is penciling in, family obligations, date nights, vacations, everything like that. Then I can start scheduling business on top of that and not the other way around.
It will change your life and business by following a plan and not just showing up. That’s the first key to getting frustrated and burnt out. Have no plan will feel like it’s not worth it because you feel like the juggler who can’t stop juggling. That’s a really bad place to get to. So, I really love that scripture shares that the Proverbs 31 woman goes into her day with a plan.
Camie: I love the practicality that the Bible brings to the table. Personally, I struggle with perfectionism. Even before I had kids. If I have a game plan and something goes haywire, the enemy will start to whisper shame like, “You didn’t follow your game plan.” Which makes me hesitant to even have a game plan in the first place. Be on your guard about that.
Realize that you can have a game plan, the Bible tells us to make a plan. But leave room for life to happen because it’s going to. Let the game plan be just a game plan. It doesn’t have to be perfect. It doesn’t have to be the exact way that things happen every single day.
When life does happen, it doesn’t have to be an invitation for shame to come into play. Just pivot, it’s all good. Just roll with it. Be on guard from perfectionism. Because I know that that’s something that I personally struggle with.
Proverbs says that the Proverbs 31 woman is “energetic, and strong, a hard worker.” This is a call for us to approach our work that we are called and anointed to do, and work at it with enthusiasm. Now, the ticket here that the Lord whispered to my heart is that we can only be energetic about our work if we are also intentional about our rest.
We can’t burn the candle at both ends. I challenge you to set up your work blocks in your day. But also, intentionally plan out times and days of rest. Be as dedicated to rest as you are to your work so that you can really show up and be energetic, and work with enthusiasm towards the calling that God has placed for you.
The last point I want to touch on again, the scripture says that the Proverbs 31 woman makes sure her dealings are profitable. I work with a lot of Christian women. Something they often feel is guilt or shame. They want to make money in their business and stress about pricing, which I know Brooke you’re an expert when it comes to pricing.
We need to have wisdom and look carefully at what we’re investing in to make sure that it’s profitable. I’ve made many mistakes and investments that were not profitable in the past. Ask for wisdom when you are investing so that the Lord can guide you and make sure that the dealings are profitable.
You have permission to make a profit in your business. You don’t have to feel guilty for charging or raising your prices. It says in scripture that the Proverbs 31 woman makes sure she is making a profit in her business.
Brooke: There is a huge misconception that Christians are supposed to be broke. We should be humble. But Jesus and God are not calling you to be broke. In fact, when you look at theology, Jesus made money. You don’t read it that way, you have to really understand the Bible. We want to give you permission today, you should make a profit. Money is a resource. It’s not everything, it’s not meant to be something that is an idol. You shouldn’t be concerned about it all of the time.
You shared such good principles for all three areas of our lives. There’s so much to take away. So, now we want to encourage you to take action. Pick one area where you personally felt convicted and apply these principles from the Proverbs 31 woman to your own life. Start with one and then come back and pick up another one.
There’s no shame here. We just want to equip you with the principles learned from the Proverbs 31 woman. In my devotional today, I received complete confirmation. It was talking about the Proverbs 31 woman. This is how she is described, and honestly, how I hope we all can be described throughout our life.
But it says this, “she’s remarkably successful in her work, respected and her community, adored by her family, cherished by her man, able to keep up with the sewing and laundry and bills, and apparently her house is spotless too.” Now, I’m not saying we want your house to be spotless all the time. But don’t you want people to describe you in that fashion? I know I do. So I use the Proverbs 31 woman as encouragement for who I want to be to other people and who I want to be for myself.
Camie: The Proverbs 31 woman, is so easy for us to look at and think, “I am nothing like her.” She seems perfect when we’re reading it in the scripture. The point of Proverbs 31 isn’t for us to try and reach this perfectionism. Rather just principles to apply to our daily life. There’s so much wisdom. The Bible says that wisdom is more valuable than rubies. Having wisdom is more valuable than any amount of money that we could ever make. Glean the wisdom that Brooke is bringing to you guys here on the Five Star Business Podcast.
Brooke: Thank you, Camie. I want to end with three quick fun questions.What is your favorite Bible verse or quote?
Camie: Matthew 6:25-34 It’s the do not worry passage, which is something that I need consistently. Do not fret or worry. Cancel anxiety in the name of Jesus because God really does have everything planned out.
Brooke: What are you eagerly expectant for in your current season of life?
Camie: For me goes, it back to motherhood. I’m an assumed-to-be mom. I’m actually going to be a mom through adoption. It means that any day we could get a call and be instant parents. I’m looking up to these women who are doing the thing. They are stewarding their marriage, their business and stewarding their motherhood.
I feel like the Lord threw these women in my life who are speaking wisdom to me on principles that I need to be adopting, no pun intended, for that season of when we get that phone call. I’m trying to prepare myself as much as I can for that next season. Just because it’s something that we’ve been praying for for a long time, and I want to really soak up the sweetness of that.
Brooke: I am so excited for you and your husband to experience that. I know that someone reading is either adopted, or they’re experiencing adoption for themselves. So, I think that is such a unique calling, but also so exciting for you to step into motherhood in an instant. We may have to bring you back on just hear all about how God works that scenario.
What business would you give five stars to and why? This could be anything from something that you experienced recently to a local restaurant or a virtual business? Anything you want to shout out?
Camie: Every year my family takes a vacation. There is a resort in Hawaii that my family is very particular about. We love going back and seeing the smiling faces of everybody that is there. It’s a Marriott Resort. They want to enrich your experience there. They have a smile, they’re eager to serve. It’s a place that I’m like, “Yes, take my money!”
Brooke: Thank you so much for coming on the show and being the first official guest on the podcast!
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